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Only Made This Music Video 4 U: Charli xcx Releases A Music Video For 'Party 4 U' 5 Years After Release

How I’m Feeling Now is the fourth studio album from the iconic party girl, Charli xcx. Unlike the singer's 2024 smash hit album Brat, How I’m Feeling Now was a completely different era- and not just because the project was released in 2020, the peak of the pandemic. The album was created in just 5 weeks, entirely within the public eye and in collaboration with fans every step of the way. In a sense, it’s a bit of a memoir of Charli’s life at the time, truly encapsulating how she was feeling now, with plenty of fans finding relatability within the lyrics, especially that of ‘anthems’, which was a testament to that longing feeling for a pre-pandemic life.


 To ‘close out’ the era, Charli released a documentary-esque film to capture the entire creation process of How I’m Feeling Now. Charli XCX: Alone Together was a perfect compilation of what it was like to watch the project come to life, providing this essential understanding of Charli’s goal with the album, fan receptions, the power of the piece, and the vulnerability that went into the era. For a glimpse into How I’m Feeling Now, you can check out the trailer for the film below. 



While How I’m Feeling Now never hit the grand popularity that Brat achieved upon release, one track of the album has been forcing itself into the mainstream, taking the interview and now radio stations by storm, five whole years after its initial release. ‘party 4 u’, the ninth track off How I’m Feeling Now, begun to steadily rise in popularity, first with TikTok by people interpreting the lyrics of the song. This led to Charlixcx performing it at Coachella alongside her Brat Arena Tour, allowing for the love of ‘party 4 u’ to grow, resulting in the track peaking at 55 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart.


With the fifth anniversary of How I’m Feeling Now steadily approaching and ‘party 4 u’ continuing to climb the charts, Charli began to tease the release of something special to mark the occasion. On May 14th, the day before the momentous occasion, Charli announced that she would be putting out a music video for ‘party 4 u’, signing off her handwritten announcement message with “This one’s for you angels”, a nod to her fanbase's original name before it was wrongly changed to ‘Brats’. 



[ Handwritten Notes via Charli xcx on Instagram ]


The premise of ‘party 4 u’, according to Charli xcx on TikTok is “The moment you realize that the one person isn’t ever coming to your party so you stand in the middle of the room, tears reifly fill your eyes, but then you wipe them away, pretend you’re ok, and proceed to get unbelievably fckd up and then spend the next week feeling completely ashamed of yourself”. While I’ve always envisioned ‘party 4 u’ taking place within that initial moment, the track's music video seems to focus on that aftermath.


There’s a lack of cohesiveness with what's going on within the video, adding to this feeling of shame, dread, and frustration. Charli begins in a house, making her way through the aftermath of the events of a party the night prior, before heading out onto the open road, getting progressively more and more frustrated as time goes on. She kicks off her red-bottom heels, leaving them behind, dumps out her whole purse to fish for a cigarette, and even tears her clothes off, clearly desperate to get away from any attachment to this party. 



Viewers may feel like they resonate with Charli here, understanding her emotions perfectly, while others may find themselves slightly uncomfortable, as her acted emotions feel raw, as if we’re witnessing a breakdown where not meant to be seen. Regardless, I believe all angels will feel a tug on their heartstrings towards the end of the video, watching a clearly distraught Charli tear apart, slather in paint, and eventually burn to ashes a billboard-sized photo of herself from a photoshoot back in March. The burning of her portrait hangs heavy in the air as the video ends, as the last 20 seconds are nothing but the bright orange flames engulfing Charli completely. 


While there's definitely a hidden meaning lingering beyond the surface level context of the 'party 4 u' music video, I do not think it’s one that I’ll pry deeply into or try to deeply analyze, as I prefer the beauty in the ambiguity.


ORDER THE HOW I'M FEELING NOW VINYL REPRESS HERE.

STREAM PARTY 4 U HERE.


KEEP UP WITH CHARLI XCX

Instagram / Twitter / Website / TikTok


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